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24 April 2011

For Thomas, on His Third Birthday

I love your kind heart, and your stubborn streak.
I love how you look after you first wake up — red cheeked, eyes squinted against the light.
I love how your voice shows the wear of the day.
I love that you want desperately to do things on your own. And yet still want my help.
I love when [...]

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7 March 2011

The Monsters in Our Maps

The plans we make for ourselves are maps. And they’re flawed.
Think about it: when we make a plan, we’re taking reality as we see and experience it and trying to draw a path to a future, an idea, we can only guess at. We’re making a plan for what we (think we) want to do, to [...]

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1 March 2011

Waiting for Superman

I have a couple of policies:
1. No regrets. We make the best choices we’re capable of making at the time we make them. And even if we don’t, we can’t go back and unmake them. So I figure: just get over it. Learn, yes. But move on.
2. Direct answers to direct questions. Only fair. But [...]

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4 June 2010

Lessons in control

A wise friend reminded me recently that the universe has a way of making sure you learn the lessons it wants to teach you.
Two years ago, I had a baby. He was breech, which meant I had to have a c-section (I had wanted to have a hypnobirth). He didn’t gain weight, so I had [...]

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27 April 2010

Fighting fire

I got angry today. Really, really angry.
I didn’t used to know what to do with anger, so I stuffed it down, closed it off. But you do great damage to yourself—mentally, physically, and emotionally—by trying to bury what you feel. I’ve done it. I know.
Anger needs air to flare…and to die. It needs to consume what [...]

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19 April 2010

Who are we to judge?

Juror #3.
When you walk in for jury duty and they hand you #3, you know you’re in for it, whether or not you’re eight and half months pregnant. But there I was. Juror #3.
I’ve spent much of my adult life working to remove judgment from my outlook. I’ve had to. You don’t spend 11 years [...]

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29 March 2010

What do you expect?

Ah, expectations. We have them. We set them. We manage them.
But they’re really just little time bombs of judgment, ticking away, waiting to explode.
You can’t “set” others expectations (though we try to all the time). People set their own expectations. Nor can you manage others’ expectations, even if they try to convince you that it’s [...]

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26 March 2010

Stop looking for motivation

“I want to get this [insert project or goal here] done. But I haven’t felt motivated yet.”

A lot of us wait around for motivation to come. We end up waiting a long time.
The problem is motivation isn’t a cause—it’s an effect. And, like momentum (also an effect), it can serve to keep things moving [...]

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25 March 2010

Low-tech listening

In social media, “listening” as a term is fast-approaching overuse to the point of obsolescence. Yes, we need to listen (and watch). Yes there are all sorts of very cool tools to help you do that.
But the best tool? Your own ears. (And eyes.)
Next time you need to prove to someone the value of listening [...]

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26 February 2010

Its you’re brand out their, please get it write

I’ll be the first to admit that my grammar’s not always perfect. In the rush to get things written, sometimes my brain disconnects from my typing fingers and something other than what I meant ends up on the published page. (My brain and fingers have some serious debates about homophones.)
But seriously, folks.
There is a difference [...]

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